I love the new year. There is something about the feeling of “starting fresh”. Now, I know you could start fresh any day of the year but for me, it’s a different mindset. I try really hard to not look back on the past and to focus on moving forward, but that’s always easier said than done. I am sure we all have the tendency to look at past mistakes, failures or just things we wished we had done differently. We may even feel regret or remorse about those things. The new year brings the chance to recognize things we could have done differently, to acknowledge things in our character that may need to change moving forward.
The new year also brings a great opportunity to reflect on our walk with God. Where are we? Are we close to Him or have we gotten so wrapped up in the trials and busyness of life, that we have somehow drifted from Him? Sometimes, this can be a real eye-opener! But how great is our God??? He reminds us through scripture that we always have a chance for change, growth and new beginnings.
Isaiah 43:18-19
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
This time of the year is also very challenging for me. January 19, 1988 was the absolute worst day of my life. I have shared my story with the women in my region. Although it is not something I can talk about here, it was a turning point and changed the trajectory of my life. I have never been the same. For so many years, even now when that date rolls around, it takes me back. I reflect on that day and how I lost so much. I lost all self-confidence and wondered how I would ever move forward. Some years on that particular day I cry. Some days I am angry, but I always remember. I wish it was something I could forget.
Fast forward fifteen years. I was happily married and a faithful disciple of Jesus. We had been trying to have a baby for a few years at this point. I would cry all the time about all the friends that were getting pregnant, and as happy as I was for them, I was heartbroken. It just seemed so hopeless. I would meditate on this scripture and just pray that each morning would be different.
Psalm 30:5 (NLT)
For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime. Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.
It would remind me that although things seemed so hard and disappointing, God promised JOY would come.
Then on January 19, 2003, fifteen years to the day, things changed. That was the day we found out we were pregnant with Ashlyn! God was faithful….the joy appeared!
I still have a difficult time when January 19th rolls around. I lost so much but in God’s graciousness, that day means something different for me now. It’s still hard to think about what I went through. And if anyone is interested in hearing the story, please ask :) God showed himself to me in some of the hardest circumstances and that shaped me into who I am today. I am forever grateful for that!
We have to remind ourselves often that there will be painful times, hardships, sickness, hatred, but HE promises that joy will come. We have to continue to remain faithful to Him in ALL circumstances.
It doesn’t matter what day you decide to start new, God gives us so much grace and allows us to have unending new beginnings. It’s never too late to be better and more grace-filled towards others. God’s love for us allows us to be a light to others in this very broken world. I will never be bitter about that day, because God helped me be better through that situation. I want to continue to be better for God.
So, here’s to new beginnings and fresh starts!