It’s no secret that 2020 has been filled with chaos.
Whatever personal chaos may have come your way was amplified tenfold by the chaos of the world. Between a worldwide pandemic, social injustice, and one of the most divisive election seasons I’ve personally seen in my young 23 years; it’s hard to have anything positive to say about 2020.
All of that being said, it’s clear God is still working in each and every one of our lives. In my life personally, He’s been showing me how to have true contentment in the chaos.
My deeply empathetic heart has felt the weight of the chaos in the world, and brought out many weaknesses within me.
COVID-19 came at a time filled with transition for me. Being newly married and serving my first year in the full time ministry during a pandemic did not bring out the best. I was lazy, impatient, and lacked faith with both ministry life and my marriage.
Social media gave the already present issue of social injustice the fuel to burn bigger and more vicious than before. As a black woman, I felt it more than ever before. I was filled with anger, yet fought to shy away from conversations that would’ve produced great growth because of my own insecurity. Seeing the way friends became enemies because of political views was heartbreaking.
My perspective quickly became one sided and narrowed to fit my own agenda.
But God doesn’t let difficult things just be difficult things. He brings His great glory into everything.
COVID-19 provided me the opportunity to spend more time with my new husband than I could’ve imagined. We learned more about each other than most couples do in year one of being married and created incredible memories.
Through the social injustice, I’ve been able to tap into a side of my culture, of who I am, that I’ve been insecure about for so long. I had to fight to let others in on that and have courageous conversations.
And though this election has been littered with divisiveness, I’ve seen people overcome that by seeing different perspectives. I’ve personally grown in seeing other people's perspective without assuming the worst.
The chaos of the world in 2020 didn’t always bring out the best of me and many others. On the surface, it was a pretty rough year. But when I take a step back and really reflect, I’m amazed at how much God has helped me grow.
A heart once yearning for 2020 to end, instantly becomes a heart filled with gratitude at the important lessons learned.
I know 2020 has left many of us feeling weak and amplified our weaknesses, but I leave you with these words of Jesus:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…”
When you’re feeling weak and in a season that brings out your weakness, search for the ways Jesus’ power is being made perfect in you. This is how I’ve found my contentment in the chaos.